Looking after Nelson

Is the fact that the mornings are brighter or is it because there’s a reason to get moving in the mornings?

Does it matter?

The important thing is that mybigfatarse is hauling itself out of bed every morning to look after Nelson - an aged, much-loved, very special horse who has come to love close by.

Looking after Nelson is a dirty job and requires a lot of physical effort, and yet mybigfatarse is happy to do it. The fact that it’s getting some much needed exercise and increasing its level of fitness is irrelevant. Mybigfatarse would happily look after Nelson is it was as fattening as double chocolate fudge cake with cream.

Motivation comes in all shapes and sizes. It it comes your way, grab it!

Ostrich or Bull?

There are two ways of dealing with any situation: the ostrich approach or the bull by the horns method.

Over time, mybigfatarse has tried both and found that, while the ostric approach provides temporary relief by deferring the issue, the bull by the horns method has the advantage of being short, sweet, to the point and usually not half as painful as the imaginings a head stuck in the snad had conjured up!

Advice from mybigfatarse should always be taken with a dose of salt, but from experience, it would highly recommend summoning up the courage to face your difficulties head on, rather than turn your arse and run - or bury your head in the sand!

Cheek!

Apparently bumless wonder Gillian McKeith has launched a crusade in the UK to ‘ban big bums’!

What a cheek!

I now consider mybigfatarse to be a vital, valued and beautiful asset.

Of course, it was not always thus - for which I must apologise sincerely to mybigfatarse. For too many years I have hidden it and only bought clothes that would cover or disguise it. I have abused it by spending far too long sitting on it and I have (until recently) never had a good word to say about it.

But now it’s time for the world to celebrate mybigfatarses everywhere.

So get up and wiggle it about. Dress it up and take it out.  Pamper and preen it and show it how much it is loved.

And, most of all, refuse to let anybody without a bigfatarse tell you that you shouldn’t have one either!

Who’s Tune?

Today, mybigfatarse learned now important it is to make sure you’re dancing to your own tune!

It’s so very easy to be so busy keeping up with the dance of life that you never stop for a moment and listen to the music.

You could be cha cha-ing to a waltz or disco-ing to a rock track and totally out of step with what’s really going on.

From now on mybigfatarse has vowed to tune in to its own rhythm and ignore the notes everyone else is following.

We may be marching to a different drum, but it’s our drum!

My Hero!

Pain or Pleasure?

At exactly 4.14am today, mybigfatarse was compelled to get out of bed to answer the call of nature.

Why do you think mybigfatarse could peel itself out of the scratcher at such an hour to pee but is unable to extricate itself three hours later - when many people are already well into their routines - to get some much-needed exercise?

I asked my self the same question and this is what I concluded:

When nature called in the early hours of the morning, mybigfatarse had two choices. It could stay put and give into the urge to pee or it could get up and pee in the appropriate place.

Staying put was by far the more comfortable option - in the short term! While peeing in one’s bed does create an initial sense of sweet relief and the wonderful feeling of being bathed in warm golden liquid this soon gives way to the harsh reality of being cold and wet - not to mention having to deal with a smelly mattress! So you have short-lived pleasure followed by a longer term discomfort.

On the other hand, getting up and going to the bathroom involves leaving the warmth of one’s bed, you experience short-lived discomfort followed by longer term pleasure when you climb back into your cosy bed with an empty bladder.

So mybigfatarse can’t get out of bed early to exercise because it can’t see where the reward is.

Intellectually, it knows that the rewards lie in feeling and looking better, increased energy levels and improved health and fitness but that’s not enough.  It didn’t get up at 4.14am today just to experience the pleasure of getting back into bed. It got up because the pain and discomfort of not getting up was greater than the pain and discomfort of evacuating the bed for a few minutes.

And so it would seem that mybigfatarse is motivated by the avoidance of pain rather than by the pursuit of pleasure.

Now we’re getting somewhere!